> [!done]- Humanity > ![[PeopleBase.base#Related People]] > ![[GroupsBase.base#Related Groups]] > [!question]- Geography > ![[SettlementsBase.base#Related Settlements]] > ![[PlaceBase.base#Related Places]] > [!fail]- Other Stuff > ![[ThingBase.base#Related Things]] > [!summary]- Culture > ![[LoreBase.base#Related Lore]] > ![[CultureBase.base#Related Culture]] > [!example]- Goings On > ![[EventsBase.base#Related Events]] > ![[SessionsBase.base#Related Sessions]] --- ##### `=this.Storyline` Characters [[Kelly]] ([[Dan M]]) - Tough crime bitch, married to Solomon, buys drugs from Skyler [[Skyler]] ([[Jen]]) - Drug maker, church member, professor at university (as a cover) [[Constable Ryan McGillicutty]] ([[Ashley]]) - God fearin' member of the police, always chasing after Solomon [[Solomon]] ([[Dann]]) - Town drunk, married to Kelly, followed by a dozen stinky alley cats [[Bob]] - A really good mall cop [[Professor Nudge]] - A scholar with a wide interest regarding insertables of all kinds Act 1 Scene 1 Kelly finds Solomon drunk and they discuss an upcoming plot to steal the rare portrait of the Immortal Emperor. Constable MCGillicutty happens on the scene and has their suspicion aroused. Solomon gets a little belligerent and is arrested. Scene 2 Kelly shows up at the church to meet with Skyler, who is not pleased with a clandestine meetup on church grounds. Kelly expresses concerns that McGillicutty is nosing around and needs to be dealt with somehow. Skyler lays out a plan to distract the constable with some church activities surrounding the Stalight Festival, which begins the next day. Scene 3 Skyler approaches McGillicutty and asks for assistance with a fake task. It seems an anonymous donor (Kelly) is willing to donate to the church a very hefty sum, on the condition that a list of items be given in return. Some items: A dirty bra, an army helmet full of [[Grandma Genevieve's Ramp Soup™]], a bag full of fingernails, a large Dragon Dong, and (in a different handwriting) a can of [[Armor Brand Anchovies™]]. McGullicutty seemed suspicious, but promised to fulfill thee task. Scene 4 It is later and Solomon is in his customary cell, reading. McGillicutty tells Solomon that he is free to go. Solomon is a pain in the ass but also unwittingly raises more suspicion from the constable. Scene 5 Kelly and Solomon are walking out of town and discuss their heist plan in more depth. It is questionable whether Solomon will be able to remember the plan when the times comes. In response to concerns about the constable's interest, Solomon shares his plan. He will hide a can of[[ Armor Brand Anchovies™]] on McGilicutty's person and his cats will take care of the rest. Scene 6 Kelly is with Skyler in her drug lab hidden in an abandoned shaft. Skyler is preparing a batch of special lemonade for the second day of festival. It will be spiked with a new street drug known as Red Silt (which incidentally smells like elephant dung). Skyler's new formula for the drug should put all the festival goers to sleep, providing a good cover to for Solomon to swap a fake painting in for the portrait. Solomon will also be given a sample of the Red Silt to plant on McGillicutty, in order to frame the constable for the poisoning. Also: "I like the idea of drugging everyone." Scene 7 Skyler is entering the town with her cart loaded with festival supplies. Bob the Guard chats with her until McGillicutty shows up. The constable is clearly keeping an eye on Skyler. We learn that Skyler has a love for fake versions of painting created by the artist Fakesy and that one of the raffle items will be the Fakesy copy of the Emperor's portrait. Scene 8 The festival starts. Solomon tries to plant the anchovies on McGillicutty, but the constable notices. Hijinks ensue. McGillicutty winds up being assaulted by a dozen alley cats and finds themselves in a hospital bed. Solomon gets away but has forgotten to plant the drug. Act 2 Scene 1 It is now the second day of the festival. Skyler and Kelly are at the festival, setting up the church lemonade table with the spiked beverage. They discuss their plan to rig the raffle so that Kelly can win the portrait. The Fakesy would then be swapped by Solomon later that evening when the effects of the drug would start kicking in. Scene 2 Later, Skyler and McGillicutty (covered in casts and bandages) are meaning the lemonade table. Skyler is acting upset that Kelly won the raffle. Professor Nudge shows up to deliver the Dragon Dong. He drinks a lemonade as the three discuss dildos. He promptly collapses to the ground. It seems that Skyler's drug worked way quicker than planned. Scene 3 People are dropping like flies and McGillicutty realizes that Skyler is a likely suspect. He summons Bob to arrest her and Skyler bolts. While the constable is hindered by his recent cat related injuries, Bob gives chase. Scene 4 Kelly finds Solomon and gives him the Fakesy (on which he writes his name and "FAKE" on the back. She tells him that the timeline has been moved up because people were already dropping like flies. Solomon seems frazzled but heads off to commit the crime. He also gives the drugs back to Kelly. Scene 5 Skyler runs into Kelly and discuss how things have gone to shit. Before they can say much more, Bob shows up and continues chasing Skyler. Scene 6 Bob has chased Skyler to her lab in the mineshaft. When Bob tries to arrest her, he blows a handful of experimental Red Silt into his face. He goes "Florida Man Bath Salts" crazy and begins trashing the lab while Skyler escapes. Scene 7 In the panic at the festival, McGillicutty is trying to coordinate the emergency response. Kelly comes along and offers to help with re-dressing the constable's wounds. She attempts to plant the drugs on the constable but is caught and the two struggle. McGillicutty smacks her, and she reels back into the path of an oncoming Tilt-A-Whirl car. She grabs on to one of the constable's loose bandages and pulls them both in. The poisoned, sleeping festival goers nearby are spattered with blood, brains, and bone. Scene 8 Solomon shows up at the museum and completely confuses the plan. Thinking that the guard he meets is the one they are in cahoots with, he tries to gain entry. When he is unsuccessful, he instead bops the guard out cold. He takes down the painting and takes a swig of his flask. He then forgets which painting he is supposed to take and replaces the real one on the wall. He walks out of the museum with the Fakesy. Aftermath Solomon is framed for the poisoning and rots awat in a cell. Kelly escaped any blame for the incident. I mean, she's dead so it doesn't really matter does it? Constable McGillicutty, while also dead, had somehow managed to try out the giant dragon dong on that last fateful day. gbxg Skyler survived and gets away with everything. Her lab and any evidence was destroyed. Solomon took the fall. She never lost any standing in the church community.